ENGLISH LANGUAGE ARTS RESOURCES

THEMES THROUGH IMAGES AND DICTION: REVISING POETRY WITH PRECISION

Planning Points

Approximate Time Needed: 1-2 days
Correlation to English I SCS 1.02, 4.03, 5.01, 6.01, 6.02
Correlation to NC High School Exit Exam Competencies: C3, C5, PI9, PI15

Lesson Objectives:

Working in small groups, students will use images and diction to revise given "bad" poem to fit a given theme. Students will then revise their own original poems.

Materials Needed:

• Computers with Microsoft Word (preferred)
• Magazines or print advertisements
• Deliberately Bad Poem (included)
• Revising for Images handout (included)

Description:

As preparation for activity, students should have written original poems (preferably on computer), and teacher should have typed Deliberately Bad Poem (DBP) into computer as template.

• Have students in groups find magazine advertisements that use a picture to "sell" a product. Discuss how the picture relates to the product. Encourage students to explore how pictures and images are being used to emphasize feelings or ideas used to "sell" the product.
• Hand each group a card with theme on it. All themes should relate to love (subject of DBP). Suggested themes include the following:
  • Longing for love is a lonely pursuit.
  • Unrequited love torments the soul.
  • Love hurts.
  • Absence makes the heart grow fonder.
  • Love inspires the imagination.
  • The soul is free when the heart is free.
  • Recovering from a broken heart takes time
• Give groups a few minutes to read and brainstorm ways they can show this theme. Suggest that they think back to the magazine advertisements; what pictures/scene could sell this message?
• Have each group open up DBP file and choose Track ChangesÞHighlight Changes (from the Tools menu) to document the changes they make.
• Groups should follow revising steps, emphasizing their theme through their images and diction.
• After each group has finished, compare poems as a class (using computer display device to read together). Have students attempt to state the poems' themes and to evaluate how they were conveyed effectively.
• Working independently, each student should each determine the theme for his or her original poem (written earlier, perhaps as homework or on another day), then complete the revising steps as before. If time allows, encourage peer response to poems in intermediate drafts.

Assessment:

Group poems have been assessed through class discussion, but teacher could collect for further examination. Individual poems can be graded for thoughtful revision attempts and improvement; see rubric (included).

Additional Notes:

• This activity makes valuable use of computer tools; however, it can easily be adapted for completion on overhead transparencies and with pencil and paper.
• The strategies students learn for revising their poems will also serve them well in sharpening their diction in their prose writing.
• Deliberately Bad Poem and Revising for Images worksheet are adapted from materials presented by Sally Buckner (Peace College) and Ruie Pritchard (NCSU) at the Capital Area Writing Project.

Teacher's Notes:

Deliberately Bad Poem

Love.
I think of you
In the night
Sighing at the sight
Of the flowers.
Many hours
I think of you.
Why must you be
So far away from me?
I Love You.

Poem Revision

• Type your original poem into MSWord. Then, using the Revising with Images handout, revise your poem. Once you have made your changes, choose the 2 most effective, and using the comment feature (from Insert menu), explain the change that you made.
• Be sure to print out 3 versions of your poem - original, draft showing revisions (using highlight changes) and comments, and final (after changes have been accepted).
  6. Original Poem attached
  7. Revision shows consideration for
  8. images that show rather than tell
  9. images developed with detail
  10. diction (word choice) more specific
  11. vivid, precise verbs
  12. Explanation of changes shows thoughtfulness
  13. Final Poem
  14. neatly presented
  15. contains no careless errors
  16. shows improvement through revisions

_____/100 TOTAL

Revising with Images

A. Emphasizing your theme

Write it out in your notes as a sentence, not just a phrase (not love, but Love hurts.)
Now that you've written it down, don't write it out again - your poem should encourage us to feel the experience, not just read the sentence.
All of the following steps should be taken with the following consideration - how will this enhance the effect of the poem's meaning?

B. Showing, Not Telling

Close your eyes and just think of your theme. What feelings, colors, sensations come to mind? In your notes, try to jot down as much detail about these as you can.
Brainstorm pictures that show your theme. Think of a magazine advertisement or music video; what could "sell" your message visually? Start with the clichŽs if you need to - a broken heart, a rose, an apple, etc. -- but then try to think of details that will give your image impact that builds on the stereotype. Add to your list any actions that relate to your theme - a hand outstretched and then falling earthward, for example. Remember that your poem can develop in time; it's not static like a picture.
From your brainstorming, select the most potent images and add them to your poem. For a real challenge, see if you can build on that image, perhaps developing it differently in each stanza or using it as a paradox.

C. Creating vivid pictures with specific and precise language

Be specific:
Is that flower a tulip, a sun-flower, or a rose?
Add detail:
Is it a yellow rose bursting with petals or a cream-white rosebud with blushing pink tips?
Use the most precise verb
Does that rose wilt, wither, bounce, stretch, linger? (Certainly it does more than just exist!)
Let your nouns and verbs carry the power - avoid strings of adjectives and adverbs when a noun or verb can do the job (sit weakly vs. wither; new rose vs. rosebud)

Although these tips are designed for poetry revision, they can help you enliven your prose writing too!

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