LANGUAGE ARTS :: SECONDARY RESOURCES :: WRITING HANDBOOK :: HOW CAN I HELP MY STUDENTS RECOGNIZE AND GET RID OF SUPPORT AND/OR ELABORATION
THAT DOES NOT MOVE THE WRITING TOWARD THE DESIRED END?
For some writers, getting rid of unnecessary details can be as difficult as
facing the blank page. However, the following suggestions may help them weed
out the unimportant to make room for the important.
Lane
(1993) tells his students that this is one of several ways of learning to revise.
Students are instructed to write for ten minutes like roller coaster (fast and
furious) to get down as many details as possible about a prompt or during a
freewrite. He then instructs students to "take the local train"
back through by rereading what they wrote and adding details, word pictures,
or developing a moment in the writing. Finally, he instructs them to cross out
ten unnecessary words, paragraphs, or pages. This can be used as a way of helping
students begin to make judgments about what kinds of words or information is
less important than others. After the activity students can find five unnecessary
details or elaboration in a draft of an essay they are writing.
Students swap drafts
in pairs (or they can do this to their own papers). Using three different color
highlighters, partners read each others' papers and mark details/elaboration
that is most significant in yellow, details/elaboration that helps move the
writing along but is less significant in green, and details/elaboration that
could possibly be changed or deleted in blue. Students swap papers back and
discuss where to go from there with the writing.
The teacher hands out copies of a sample paragraph
with unnecessary details and instructs students to make three columns on a piece
of paper: details that help the writing move to the desired end, details that
are just there, and details that take away from the writing. After students
compile their lists individually, they meet in small groups to come to consensus
on one list to share with the class for whole group discussion. The teacher
encourages them to articulate their reasons for selecting some details over
others and allows groups to discuss the different choices they may have made.
Example
In Physical Education, students write an essay on the topic "What
are the consequences of parental violence at little league games?" as
a way of exploring the notion of "sportsmanship." On the day they
bring in a draft of the essay, they are instructed to "take the express
and return on the scenic route." To do this, the teacher has them read
through the essay and do the following: (1) add other details that have occurred
to them and (2) read it again and put question marks by five details that may
be appropriate to omit. The students then meet with a partner to discuss the
five they chose and get feedback on which seem the most/least helpful to the
progression of the essay.
Example
In Dance I, students are given a sample paragraph from a dance review which
contains too many details. They are instructed to work in pairs to identify
which details help move the piece toward its desired end and which just muddle
the paragraph or take away from the main point being made. The students then
discuss their responses with the whole group by explaining the changes they
made and the reasons behind those changes.
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